What potential are you choosing?

 

It’s been an interesting week. The Universe has presented me with an opportunity to leave the house I’ve spent the last 8 years in and move into a beautiful home that is much bigger than my current one. The Universe is a little bit dramatic and put a deadline on a decision to be fully made in less than a week. GASP! I know, right? You should hear the battle that my logic is having with my intuition now. I’ve been sitting in a realm of uncertainty for days, making a list of pros and cons in my head. Last night I was up pretty late chatting it out with a good friend of mine in an effort to come to some sort of conclusion where my body didn’t feel like it was split in half. My fear was in the driver's seat going 90 miles a minute. My kids would have to switch schools. What if I regret it? What if it's too much work? What if I really miss my old house and I can’t go back? I worried myself to sleep, it was the only logical thing to do. I woke up this morning feeling more confident that it was the right choice but chose to quell my fears by avoiding real life and hiding out in my office reading a little Deepak Chopra.
After skimming through one of my newer books for nearly 25 minutes, I found myself fish-hooked on a sentence unable to escape. Whispering silently to myself as I read Deepak’s words over and over, “Everything is potential”. Bam! Just like that, a whole universal notion slammed in my face. I’d be lying if I said that I had time to constantly be assessing the Universe and it’s qualities, but let’s be honest I’m a business owner and mom of two and as much as I’d love to respect the Universe and all its substantial greatness, I’ve got shit to do. So, I’m not sure exactly what it is about this sentence that gripped me so tightly. Everything is potential, which means that everything that exists has an insurmountable range of possibilities. Everything is something and everything is nothing. Everything is everything in between. It’s a little daunting to embrace this line, but for whatever reason it put my moving situation in perspective for me.
For years, I have been hung up on the idea of being limitless. It’s one of those ideas that romantically stands at the edge of the door with a lit cigarette, more confident than necessary, only to come in and sweep me off my feet. I find myself teetering back and forth between knowing my power while testing my perceived limits, and the way my stupid human brain fixates on outcomes being black and white, good or bad, and this or that. I get tripped up in the rigidity of my thinking which can be suffocating under its perceived certainty. As I’m getting to know Quantum Physics, the idea of unpredictability is what catches my eye. That’s what we are all afraid of right? We think we have things figured out and then God throws us a curveball of bullshit and we completely strike out like we never saw it coming. Yet, sometimes the curveballs are pretty great. Sometimes the curveball is a connection or an opportunity, but it’s the ones we don’t know about that make us nervous. The ones we can’t predict the impact of, the ones that have uncertain potential. The potential that we predict to be complete shit.
Everything is potential, but what decides what kind of potential. What decides if it’s something or nothing? What about all the possibilities in between that we do not have the capacity to conceptualize? All the possibilities that we’ve never had the pleasure of shaking hands with? Maybe you weren’t ready for this conversation and maybe I’m not either. Maybe its too big for a Tuesday afternoon, but man are we powerful. We are powerful in our ability to predict and powerful in our ability to intend. We are powerful in our ability to give things a shot, just to see how they will work out. Our choice lies in the ability to embrace the unexpected, venturing off from that black and white grid our brain forces on us, and as Matt Kahn says, “Love whatever arises”.
Our power lies in consciously choosing to step out of our fear. I can sit here and worry about all of the things that could go wrong with this move. I can make up scenarios that place shackles on my hands and feet. I can look at the potential of the situation as limited or I can choose the option of limitlessness. I can hope for the best. I can assume that this is one of those really good curveballs with a super happy ending. I can set myself up to love it. I can embrace the power of limitlessness and Pinterest my ass off until the move takes place, daydreaming the shades of gray that will slather themselves on the walls of my new home. I can take a risk, a chance, and see what shows up to greet me. I can have faith in the universe and faith in its ability to provide me with everything I need. Everything is potential after all and maybe I’m the only one who gets to decide what kind of potential. Maybe it’s me who holds the power after all.