Deep Breaths and Trust.
This is a mantra I’ve been repeating to myself for the past month. Somewhere near the end of April, I was driving along in my car heading from my “day job” to my business when I was thinking to myself “It was so much easier working one job”. I called up one of my best friends to complain. “Maybe I shouldn’t have started a business, I feel like I can’t keep up with anything”, I whined. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Too busy and completely drained were all things I was feeling. A lot of changes had been made at my “day job” which had made it feel less “homey” than it typically did. It never felt like work being at Clarity. I wished so often that I could just do it full time. Back to this phone call, she says to me “well why are you still at your day job?” I was blank. I had nothing.
“It’s what I’m used to” was my only response.
Other than a million wonderful people who have come to be family to me, there was nothing left about the day job that I truly loved. I had learned through Clarity to take the parts of the job I love and amplify them in a new way. I was noticing quicker more intense healing and way COOLER ways to heal. I noticed serious clock checking, buying my time until the end of the day at my “day job”. I noticed my stomach fill with dread each time I pulled in the parking lot. What really was keeping me there other than a serious fear of change? Luckily for me, I’m impulsive. I made a decision at 8 pm at night, followed by writing a letter of resignation at 8 am the next day. I made a major life decision in 12 hours. Due to the nature of my field I required a full month before I could actually leave.
Here I sit, with an empty office and tomorrow is my last day at my “day job”. This past month has been interesting. I’ve trusted deeply in my intuition that this is the right move for me, but have had moments of panic. Moments of unstoppable tears about losing the people that I love to see on a daily basis. . I even questioned if I actually would know how to send a fax if Wendy didn’t do it for me. The thought of losing people who have supported me in some scary times was heartbreaking. These people who have walked beside me showing me the ropes of working with humans in such an intimate way, watching me develop into the professional I am. I am so deeply grateful for that, for them, for the universe giving me an opportunity to grow and expand with people by my side who are truly beautiful souls. There are stories and clients that will never ever leave my heart space. I’ve watched kids grow into adults over these past 6 years. I’ve watched families fall apart and reunite. I’ve watched humans in extraordinary situations surpass every single contrast that has been thrown at them. I’ve been so lucky to be a part of people’s stories, a small piece of support, love, and healing. You can’t fully understand the strength of the human race until you watch it morph into something breath taking. I’ve discovered healing always happens, even if it takes a little while. That time truly is the fix all.
I have said before and will say again, to have others trust you enough to share with you their deepest darkest emotions. To sit with someone in joy and in pain, is possibly the most beautiful blessing I will ever experience. I am so lucky to work in a field where I see souls, not people.
Taking a leap and trusting is difficult. We like to control the how, the where, the when. We don’t like to close our eyes, jump, and hope God catches us. But what I’ve learned is that the Universe is always ready to be there for you if you really let it, and trust that it knows what its doing.
So tomorrow starts a brand new journey for me. For the first time, my world is wide open and I can do whatever I wish. I can create and mold my world, and for that I am so excited. Taking leaps doesn’t have to be scary. A mentor of mine keeps saying to me “Decide whether you want to step off a side walk or into a canyon”. The scariness only exists within. For now, I’m choosing the side walk. Thank you to all of you who have supported me and loved on me through my growth the past few years. Thank you for letting me be a part of your story. Thank you to every single person who has supported Clarity to allow me to pursue something that I know is my life’s calling. Each and every one of you hold such a beautiful place in my heart and soul and I am so deeply touched by the way you have helped me turn my dreams into reality. To my “day job” coworkers – holy hell I’ll miss you guys. Don’t get me a cake with fruit in it. <3
Thank you to the borders of infinity <3
On to the next chapter,
Posted on Thu, May 28, 2015
by Nichole Eaton